Why Swedish death cleaning is less about death and more about making space for living.
How many times have you looked around your home and thought:
“I really must have a clear-out.”
And then opened a cupboard, moved three things around, discovered something you had forgotten you owned, got distracted by an old photograph and quietly closed the cupboard again?
You are most definitely not alone.
Decluttering sounds simple until the things surrounding us carry memories, relationships, guilt, family history and several versions of the person we used to be.
Then it becomes about far more than getting rid of stuff.
Meet döstädning
There is a wonderful Swedish word, döstädning, which roughly translates as “death cleaning”.
Cheery little phrase, isn't it?
But before you imagine Swedish families cheerfully filling skips while discussing their eventual demise over coffee, the idea is much gentler than its name suggests.
It was brought to wider attention by Swedish author Margareta Magnusson in her book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.
At its heart, döstädning is about gradually sorting through your possessions so that you are surrounded by the things that genuinely matter to you.
It also means that, one day, somebody else won't have to tackle decades of possessions without knowing what is precious, what is useful, what should be passed on and what on earth you were keeping that peculiar thing in the back of the cupboard for.
It isn't really about death
This is the bit I particularly like.
Döstädning is actually about life.
It asks:
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What do I want around me now?
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What still serves me?
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What makes my home easier and more enjoyable to live in?
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What am I keeping purely through habit, guilt or obligation?
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And what could I release?
That can be enormously freeing.
We accumulate an extraordinary amount during a lifetime. Clothes, books, crockery, photographs, paperwork, furniture, ornaments, children's belongings, inherited possessions, unfinished projects and the mysterious drawer full of leads belonging to electrical equipment nobody has owned since approximately 2007.
The problem isn't owning things.
The problem comes when our belongings begin owning our space, our time and sometimes our energy.
Your memories are not necessarily somebody else's memories
This can be difficult to acknowledge. Something may be incredibly precious to you because you know its story.
Your children may look at exactly the same object and think:
“What is that?”
Neither person is wrong.
Objects hold emotional value because of the memories and meaning we attach to them. But those memories don't automatically transfer to another generation.
That is one reason it can be lovely to pass treasured things on while you are still here.
Tell someone the story. Explain why it matters. Ask whether they would actually like it. And importantly, allow them to say no.
You might discover that your granddaughter adores the vase you thought nobody wanted, while the antique sideboard you assumed everyone would fight over receives a remarkably lukewarm reception.
Useful information!
Don't wait until you are “old enough”
I don't think there is a magical birthday when decluttering suddenly becomes appropriate.
You don't need to wait until 65, 75 or 95.
In fact, midlife can be a brilliant time to begin.
Children may have left home. Your lifestyle may have changed. Your priorities may be different. Perhaps you are travelling more, working less, considering moving or simply wondering why you are storing enough crockery to cater for a wedding.
Your home should support the person you are becoming, not simply act as a museum to every version of you that has existed before.
Start gently
Please don't decide after reading this that Saturday is officially PURGE THE HOUSE DAY.
That is usually a fast route to overwhelm.
Döstädning is meant to be deliberate.
Try something much smaller.
Choose one drawer, one shelf or one category.
Perhaps ask yourself:
Do I use it?
Not “might I conceivably use it during an unusually specific emergency in 2037?”
Do you actually use it?
Do I love it?
Some things have no practical purpose whatsoever but give us enormous pleasure.
That is a perfectly good reason to keep them.
Am I keeping it because I feel guilty?
Perhaps somebody gave it to you.
Perhaps it cost a lot.
Perhaps it belonged to someone you loved.
Letting go of an object does not mean letting go of the person or the memory.
Would somebody else enjoy it now?
Giving things away during your lifetime can be surprisingly joyful.
You get to see them being used rather than simply hoping somebody finds them after you are gone.
Does this belong in the life I am creating?
This may be the most important question of all.
Not:
“Can I squeeze it somewhere?”
But:
“Does it deserve space in my life?”
Your home affects how you feel
Decluttering isn't simply about making a room look prettier.
Our surroundings can influence how calm, organised, comfortable and supported we feel.
Sometimes people become so accustomed to their home that they stop noticing what is no longer working.
A chair becomes a permanent storage facility.
A spare bedroom becomes somewhere things migrate to when nobody knows where else to put them.
Cupboards become archaeological excavations.
And slowly your home begins serving your possessions rather than serving you.
Creating space can change that.
It can make everyday life easier.
It can help you see what you already own.
It can make cleaning simpler.
And emotionally, it can create a wonderful sense of movement and possibility.
You don't have to throw your life away
This is important.
Decluttering does not mean stripping your home of personality until it resembles an immaculate Scandinavian furniture showroom.
Keep your treasures.
Keep the ridiculous thing that makes you laugh.
Keep the photographs.
Keep Granny's bowl if Granny's bowl makes your heart happy.
The aim isn't minimalism.
The aim is alignment.
Your home should contain the things that support, delight, comfort and serve you.
The rest deserves another destination.
And yes, there is another benefit
There may eventually come a time when somebody else has to deal with your belongings.
Making some decisions yourself is a gift to the people who may otherwise have to make them for you.
Not because you are expecting to disappear any time soon.
Quite the opposite.
You are taking responsibility for your belongings while you have the energy, ability and choice to decide what happens to them.
That feels rather empowering to me.
Where should you start?
Look around your home today and ask yourself one simple question:
“Does my home support the life I want to live now?”
Not the life you lived twenty years ago.
Not the life somebody else thinks you should live.
Your life now.
If the answer is “not entirely”, you don't have to fix everything this weekend.
Start with one drawer.
One cupboard.
One decision.
One bag heading out of the door.
Small actions become surprisingly powerful when you keep taking them.
Start with Your Home Sanctuary Checklist
If this has made you look around your home slightly differently, download my free Your Sanctuary Checklist: Creating a Home That Heals.
It will help you look at your home through fresh eyes, including clutter, rest, light, nature and how you actually want your home to feel.
Download Your Sanctuary Checklist here:
bit.ly/myhomechecklist
And if sorting your home has started you thinking about the bigger picture of your future, the Foundations for an Aligned Later Life course takes you through four masterclasses designed to help you consider your health, happiness, values, wishes and the practical choices that can create greater peace of mind.
You can work through the masterclasses at your own convenience:
Because planning for later life isn't about preparing to stop living.
It is about clearing away some of the clutter so you have more room to live it.
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